Wholly Strange and New

Trust30 : Day 16

When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name;—— the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Can you remember a moment in your life when you had life in yourself and it was wholly strange and new? Can you remember the moment when you stopped walking a path of someone else, and started cutting your own?

Write about that moment. And if you haven’t experienced it yet, let the miracle play out in your mind’s eye and write about that moment in your future.

The sweetest moments like this in life are the ones that are unexpected. As I matured out of my late 20s and into my early 30s I mellowed a bit. I unplugged and allowed myself to explore life differently than I had been. There was almost a Zen-like detachment as I simply experienced the world around me. I let life unfold. And then the idea of God finally started making sense on a different level than ever before.


So I started going to church. It was an adventure...or maybe even more like a quest.  I really don't think I ever intended to stay. It was a stop along the way during my pursuit of enlightenment. 


Honestly, it was culture shock for quite awhile. I've got questions and I was looking for answers, but I'm not the type to be rude or demanding about it. But I was on a quest. My behavior ranged from "ok, so we're going to church, what do I have to stop doing?" to "um, why are we drinking grape juice?" I've never been a conformist and I wasn't about to start new habits up (or abandon old ones) without understanding why.


Then, suddenly, there was this shift. I remember coming home and talking to Sweetie about these things I was trying to wrap my head around. Crazy ideas like "if you want to live, you must die to yourself. If you want to lead, serve. To have life, give your life away. To be significant, stop pursuing your own interests." These were not only new concepts to me, but they didn't make any sense at all and they were counter to all the beliefs I held so dear for all my life.


But that shift happened. No, it wasn't brainwashing by anyone at the church. There was a click and it snapped into focus. I had a new perspective that wasn't available to me previously. I believe God revealed it to me.


The old me would say that this isn't a "new path" at all. This is conforming to the brainwashing that happens when one is abducted and indoctrinated. The new me, however, remains painfully aware of my entire life up to this point. I'm not easily brainwashed. I believe the walk I took into this life of faith is uniquely me and mine. In fact, I believe we each have a unique quest that we're on, pursuing God while He pursues us. It's a beautiful dance. As long as we keep up the pursuit, we will find Him. Just like every marriage, every parent-child relationship, and every friendship is different, everyone's path to and relationship with God takes on a different flavor. It's the tapestry of these adventures that weave a beautiful masterpiece.


Unfortunate disclaimer: please don't think that I'm saying any form of spirituality is fine. I believe in one God, that He is more than enough for all of us. There are many false paths, but one true God. My point is that if you continue to pursue, you will find Him.