I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Think of all the things that are not working in your life. That job you don’t like, that relationship that’s not working, those friends that annoy you. Now turn them all on you. Imagine that everything that’s not working in your life, is your fault. How would you approach it? What would you work on to change your life to the state that you want it to be?I'll turn this question back around...instead of looking at whose fault it is, remember who has the power to break out of the situations that aren't working. Ultimately we're looking for a resolution, not to assign blame. Who cares who is at fault, let's find out who can change things and then fix them.
Starting from there and revisiting both the Emerson quote and the question, let's assume the power is within me. If the power is within me, what would I work on to change my life to the state I want it to be in?
The most important thing is to determine where I want to go. One of my favorite authors and speakers often says that your direction determines your destination (Andy Stanley). Another way of saying this is that I need to begin with the end in mind (Stephen Covey).
Right now I have a general idea of where I want to be. It's a place that is flexible...the most important components are that it be a life that is family focused. It also allows for life to unfold at a non-traditional pace, leaving space for relationships and creativity to breath. There would be plenty of time for the important things...connecting with others, reading, writing, and music. I know this sounds utopian and naive...a couple of my strongest character traits. But once the destination is determined, the direction becomes clearer. Once the direction is clear, action becomes easier.
I'm already taking steps to get there...paying off debt is huge. Without the monthly outflow of cash to debt there is much more flexibility in employment options. As long as I'm a slave to lifestyle, I must keep pushing to earn more, more, more. That's not for me. That lifestyle is full of busy-ness and empty of significance.
With the appropriate goal in mind, it's also important to never compromise my vision. Every day there are innumerable challenges that call for compromise. It is much more likely to be defeated one little piece at a time than it is to be suddenly overcome. So it's a delicate walk...live authentically and uncompromised while fitting into symbiotic relationships with others, sharing with them what is necessary.
So what needs to change? Rededication? A reminder of the goal,an adjustment of perspective. A realization that this is a long, slow road and that patience and persistence can be much more helpful than busy-ness and frenetic energy. Trust that the path I'm on leads to where I want to go.
