Most Ordinary

Trust 30 : Day 25 (prompt by Patti Digh)

Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are our most potent at our most ordinary. And yet most of us discount our “ordinary” because it is, well, ordinary. Or so we believe. But my ordinary is not yours. Three things block us from putting down our clever and picking up our ordinary: false comparisons with others (I’m not as good a writer as _____), false expectations of ourselves (I should be on the NYTimes best seller list or not write at all), and false investments in a story (it’s all been written before, I shouldn’t bother). What are your false comparisons? What are your false expectations? What are your false investments in a story? List them. Each keep you from that internal knowing about which Emerson writes. Each keeps you from making your strong offer to the world. Put down your clever, and pick up your ordinary.

I relate to that "ordinary" feeling quite a bit. I have trouble seeing anything that I do as unique. If I can do it, anybody can, right? What's been eye opening for me is to see this in my kids too. There are things they do that are so exceptional that they disregard or under value. This isn't an indication that there's anything wrong with them...I believe it's our nature.

But to turn the lamp back to me... Jon Acuff has done a good job at fleshing this out in his blog (here) and his book "Quitter." He illuminated for me the fact that I tend to compare my "beginning" to other peoples' "middle." I look at a successfully author or visionary leader and compare their work to my own. Never mind the fact that they've been working at it for 20 years or more and I'm just ramping up. I neglect that fact. So my false expectation tends to be that I can sit down and write one thing (novel, essay, song) and it will "be enough." I tend to think my first novel will be my best one. I forget that in every other area of life, more experience ends up producing better results.

My challenge is twofold. The most important, at this point, is time in the seat. Practice, practice, practice. That has been the best part of this Trust 30 challenge. It's forcing me to write. I'm learning how to steal moments here and there. To write a little and come back later without losing my thought. Previously I felt I had to carve out a substantial block of uniteruptable time so that my ideas wouldn't fly away. I still prefer solitude, but I can manage without it.

I do believe I have a unique voice and perspective, but that I haven't quite fleshed out exactly what it is yet. That's the second part of my challenge...finding that voice that will ring through consistently in everything I write and do.

Here's to being ordinary.