God has been so good to me. He has carefully cultivated relationships in my life. He brought an incredible woman into my life and taught us how to fearlessly, sacrificially, and unconditionally love each other as only spouses can. He has blessed me with two of the most incredible and inspiring sons that a father could ever hope to have. I find myself surrounded by a remarkable and tight-knit community of believers that aren't scared of authenticity and a little bit of crazy faith. I experience an astounding awe daily when I look around at the connections that God has put into my life. Deep and meaningful relationships. They believe in me. I believe in them. I've longed for this all my life and here it is. An unrealistic dream brought to life.
I thought my heart was full. It was overflowing with praise, love, grace, concern, and compassion. Although it's often messy, these experiences are deep and real. Ever present. Overwhelming in a good way.
But God wasn't done. See, my God isn't silent. He is a bold, over-the-top kind of God.
He has been showing me for a few years that our family isn't a family of four. It's bigger than that. It's not complete yet. I've been prepared for and open to what's to come. At least I thought I was. I would tell God, "use our family, use our house. Use our love. Use our lives. Lead the lost or abandoned to us. Make the path clear. We are willing." In my mind, I expected to find a baby on our doorstep someday.
I received a phone call while on a layover in the Denver airport. "K" needed a place. She's a very sweet 17 year old girl about to start her senior year of high school. The details of her story aren't for me to reveal. Without hesitation, without even a twinge of doubt, the answer was yes. There was no doubt this is at least part of what God has been preparing us for.
Like you would expect, once "K" moved in reality hit. Unlike what you'd expect, it has been natural and seamless. She fits beautifully into our house and our family, bringing new life where I never even realized it has been missing. It's like she was always meant to be with us.
I thought my heart was full. Since that phone call, it has swelled. It feels like it is simultaneously bursting and breaking. Overflowing with love for this new daughter I never knew I needed. Breaking at the thought of the time together we haven't had but grateful for the future that is in front of us. Bursting with laughter while wrestling with an aspect of fatherhood I didn't expect to experience. Delighting in the joy of emotions that keep surfacing unexpectedly. On one hand, suddenly having a 17 year old daughter is like learning to swim by jumping into the deep end of the ocean. On the other, when God makes these connections happen it all just works.
All I can say is welcome to the family, sweetie. We don't really live inside much of a comfort zone and I hope you're okay with that. We're a bit crazy here. This is the kind of crazy that draws us nearer to God. It's good to be this kind of crazy.
Showing posts with label adventure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adventure. Show all posts
Friday, August 16, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013
1 in 1000
There's this guy I know. He's real into self-preservation. Don't get me wrong, he likes to be around people. He's real friendly and everything. But he is guarded. I would say he has a different mask for each occasion, but it's more like one really futuristic mask that changes color and shape on the fly. It keeps the important stuff hidden and safe.
Yeah, he's pretty well protected inside the walls he's built. Never lets anyone inside. See, there's a little kid in there that is still alone and scared. That guy is protecting that little kid. If he opens the door, shining light into his deepest hopes and dreams, some of that light might fall onto his insecurity and fears as well. So he keeps everything locked up tight.
This other guy I know is the opposite. Wears his heart on his sleeve. His friends think he's pretty naive... he takes people at their word. When he meets someone new, he looks them in the eye. Deeply. He looks into their soul and invites them into his. Once in a blue moon, he connects with another naive dreamer. Someone who isn't afraid to love fearlessly.
Love fearlessly? Don't get confused here, this is important. I'm not talking about lust or romance. I'm talking about something deeper than that. When you get it, you connect at a level that goes beyond words. It can be love of a friend, brother, sister, parent, spouse, or child. Fearless love doesn't just break down walls, it makes them disappear so completely it's like they never existed. That's where true freedom lives.
Most people can't do it. It leaves them too vulnerable. The few that can are only successful to varying degrees. So what do you do? Do you hold onto that hope, waiting for someone else to take the first step? By no means. You dive in whenever you can, to whatever degree that you can. Love without fear, condition, or reservation. I'm not gonna lie to you...it'll break your heart 999 times out of 1000. The 999 will leave you with incredible stories of adventure, struggle, overcoming, hope, new life, redemption, failure, isolation, and brokenness. But that one...number 1000...that one makes it all worth it. Every time.
Yeah, he's pretty well protected inside the walls he's built. Never lets anyone inside. See, there's a little kid in there that is still alone and scared. That guy is protecting that little kid. If he opens the door, shining light into his deepest hopes and dreams, some of that light might fall onto his insecurity and fears as well. So he keeps everything locked up tight.
This other guy I know is the opposite. Wears his heart on his sleeve. His friends think he's pretty naive... he takes people at their word. When he meets someone new, he looks them in the eye. Deeply. He looks into their soul and invites them into his. Once in a blue moon, he connects with another naive dreamer. Someone who isn't afraid to love fearlessly.
Love fearlessly? Don't get confused here, this is important. I'm not talking about lust or romance. I'm talking about something deeper than that. When you get it, you connect at a level that goes beyond words. It can be love of a friend, brother, sister, parent, spouse, or child. Fearless love doesn't just break down walls, it makes them disappear so completely it's like they never existed. That's where true freedom lives.
Most people can't do it. It leaves them too vulnerable. The few that can are only successful to varying degrees. So what do you do? Do you hold onto that hope, waiting for someone else to take the first step? By no means. You dive in whenever you can, to whatever degree that you can. Love without fear, condition, or reservation. I'm not gonna lie to you...it'll break your heart 999 times out of 1000. The 999 will leave you with incredible stories of adventure, struggle, overcoming, hope, new life, redemption, failure, isolation, and brokenness. But that one...number 1000...that one makes it all worth it. Every time.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Finding God's will
It is human nature to wrestle with finding God's "will". If we take our beliefs seriously, we'd like to please God, right? For Christians, I realize that in a lot of situations the answers are already made clear in the Bible. For example, I doubt many devout Christians wrestle with the decision of whether they should knock over a bank or shoot a stranger. But what about for the more nuanced questions, particularly the ones to which there isn't necessarily a wrong answer?
Should I go to college in state or out of state? Should I stay at my current job or start looking elsewhere? What area of my church should I volunteer in? Should we have another child or should we stop at two?
A friend of mine was talking about this recently and summarized it pretty well... God's will calls me to trust God, have courageous faith, and set aside my own agenda. Those are great standards to set and I can guarantee they will lead to a life of adventure. When done with a heart set on going deeper with God, this method will get you there. For many of us in the United States, that third point might actually be the most difficult. Trusting God and having courageous faith are no problem if we think God will bend to our whims. We so often want God to conform to our own agenda...we aren't willing to die to ourselves and submit to His will.
When I returned from Brazil in 2011, I was faced with a number of opportunities that seemed to be divine. Want to be a chaplain at the State Fair? How about doing a weekly prayer walk in the neighborhood around the church? Use vacation time to attend a conference about reaching unreached and unengaged people groups? Continue the monthly soup kitchen? I needed a way to find answers.
I discovered that for me it meant to look for the path (or choice) that leads to "more God." More trust in God. More faith in God. More experience with God. More dependence on God. More God. Less me. Less of my own fear. Less of my own doubt. Less of my own agenda. Less of my own need for security. Less of my own need for approval from other people.
A missionary I met in Brazil told me that his goal was that in every situation, his response to God would be: "I'm all in. Whatever you ask." His life reflected it, too. By any American standard, he was living a life that was radical. He knew that nothing in his life mattered if Jesus wasn't the center of it all.
Some people think I'm crazy for flying half way across the world to build a chapel and share the gospel. But that's where God has led me, so that is where I'll go. In every other situation, too, I'm always looking for the path that leads to "more God."
Should I go to college in state or out of state? Should I stay at my current job or start looking elsewhere? What area of my church should I volunteer in? Should we have another child or should we stop at two?
A friend of mine was talking about this recently and summarized it pretty well... God's will calls me to trust God, have courageous faith, and set aside my own agenda. Those are great standards to set and I can guarantee they will lead to a life of adventure. When done with a heart set on going deeper with God, this method will get you there. For many of us in the United States, that third point might actually be the most difficult. Trusting God and having courageous faith are no problem if we think God will bend to our whims. We so often want God to conform to our own agenda...we aren't willing to die to ourselves and submit to His will.
When I returned from Brazil in 2011, I was faced with a number of opportunities that seemed to be divine. Want to be a chaplain at the State Fair? How about doing a weekly prayer walk in the neighborhood around the church? Use vacation time to attend a conference about reaching unreached and unengaged people groups? Continue the monthly soup kitchen? I needed a way to find answers.
I discovered that for me it meant to look for the path (or choice) that leads to "more God." More trust in God. More faith in God. More experience with God. More dependence on God. More God. Less me. Less of my own fear. Less of my own doubt. Less of my own agenda. Less of my own need for security. Less of my own need for approval from other people.
A missionary I met in Brazil told me that his goal was that in every situation, his response to God would be: "I'm all in. Whatever you ask." His life reflected it, too. By any American standard, he was living a life that was radical. He knew that nothing in his life mattered if Jesus wasn't the center of it all.
Some people think I'm crazy for flying half way across the world to build a chapel and share the gospel. But that's where God has led me, so that is where I'll go. In every other situation, too, I'm always looking for the path that leads to "more God."
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Bored?
People close to me have asserted lately that if you're a Christian and your life is boring, you're missing out on something. In fact, I've heard lately that if you don't remember the last incredible thing that God did in your life, you are probably "doing it wrong." This isn't a health/wealth prosperity gospel variant at all, this comment was intended to be deeper, more personal. There are times God has used us in incredible and humbling ways that didn't lead to outrageous prosperity or fortune...our reward was simply being present when some incredible life change happened for someone else. Our reward was to be a witness to a miracle.
Now, I'm not one that believes that there are different levels of salvation. Saved is saved. If you're saved, it's impossible to be more saved. However, I am a firm believer in spiritual growth, commonly called discipleship. Salvation happens once and is life-changing. Through spiritual growth, a relationship with God is developed. If you stop at salvation, you miss out on the intimacy of a relationship with Jesus. You miss out on the guidance and assurance available through that relationship. You also miss out on the life of significance and adventure that is the result of a passionate pursuit of God (and His passionate pursuit of you.)
Am I great at this? Absolutely not. I was recently asked which of these five areas I was best at: prayer, solitude (in the context of Jesus isolating himself to focus on his relationship with the father), small group, time in the word, and trust in the unconditional love and guidance of the Father. My honest answer was that I completely suck at all of them. Sure, I happen to be in the habit of consistently attempting them all, and maybe God's giving me credit for that. But, honestly, when judged on my results, I'm failing miserably.
Fortunately for me, I am not judged on my results. It isn't my effort that matters, and God seems like he's not done with me yet. This is still an incredible journey he's got me on. He continues to teach me about grace and unconditional love. His favorite teaching method seems to be continually giving both to me.
Now, I'm not one that believes that there are different levels of salvation. Saved is saved. If you're saved, it's impossible to be more saved. However, I am a firm believer in spiritual growth, commonly called discipleship. Salvation happens once and is life-changing. Through spiritual growth, a relationship with God is developed. If you stop at salvation, you miss out on the intimacy of a relationship with Jesus. You miss out on the guidance and assurance available through that relationship. You also miss out on the life of significance and adventure that is the result of a passionate pursuit of God (and His passionate pursuit of you.)
Am I great at this? Absolutely not. I was recently asked which of these five areas I was best at: prayer, solitude (in the context of Jesus isolating himself to focus on his relationship with the father), small group, time in the word, and trust in the unconditional love and guidance of the Father. My honest answer was that I completely suck at all of them. Sure, I happen to be in the habit of consistently attempting them all, and maybe God's giving me credit for that. But, honestly, when judged on my results, I'm failing miserably.
Fortunately for me, I am not judged on my results. It isn't my effort that matters, and God seems like he's not done with me yet. This is still an incredible journey he's got me on. He continues to teach me about grace and unconditional love. His favorite teaching method seems to be continually giving both to me.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Just a quick note
I'm up later than I should be. I'm just overwhelmed with all God is doing and what He is showing me right now.
As 2011 ended, I reflected on the year (like us melancholy types tend to do). Once I reflected on all God had done just in my life and through my life, this feeling of overwhelming, humbling awe consumed me and it hasn't left. I wondered if there was any way God could top 2011. Then I looked back farther. Every year since I became a fully devoted Christian has been orders of magnitude more crazy and miraculous than the previous one.
So 2012...rejoicing over God's revealed glory while eagerly anticipating whatever is next.
As 2011 ended, I reflected on the year (like us melancholy types tend to do). Once I reflected on all God had done just in my life and through my life, this feeling of overwhelming, humbling awe consumed me and it hasn't left. I wondered if there was any way God could top 2011. Then I looked back farther. Every year since I became a fully devoted Christian has been orders of magnitude more crazy and miraculous than the previous one.
So 2012...rejoicing over God's revealed glory while eagerly anticipating whatever is next.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Good tidings to you
May the peace that surpasses all understanding find you this holiday season. A life with Christ is the greatest adventure available to any man (or woman). It doesn't matter if you are the wisest of men or a lowly shepherd, you matter to God. Merry Christmas!
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