God has been so good to me. He has carefully cultivated relationships in my life. He brought an incredible woman into my life and taught us how to fearlessly, sacrificially, and unconditionally love each other as only spouses can. He has blessed me with two of the most incredible and inspiring sons that a father could ever hope to have. I find myself surrounded by a remarkable and tight-knit community of believers that aren't scared of authenticity and a little bit of crazy faith. I experience an astounding awe daily when I look around at the connections that God has put into my life. Deep and meaningful relationships. They believe in me. I believe in them. I've longed for this all my life and here it is. An unrealistic dream brought to life.
I thought my heart was full. It was overflowing with praise, love, grace, concern, and compassion. Although it's often messy, these experiences are deep and real. Ever present. Overwhelming in a good way.
But God wasn't done. See, my God isn't silent. He is a bold, over-the-top kind of God.
He has been showing me for a few years that our family isn't a family of four. It's bigger than that. It's not complete yet. I've been prepared for and open to what's to come. At least I thought I was. I would tell God, "use our family, use our house. Use our love. Use our lives. Lead the lost or abandoned to us. Make the path clear. We are willing." In my mind, I expected to find a baby on our doorstep someday.
I received a phone call while on a layover in the Denver airport. "K" needed a place. She's a very sweet 17 year old girl about to start her senior year of high school. The details of her story aren't for me to reveal. Without hesitation, without even a twinge of doubt, the answer was yes. There was no doubt this is at least part of what God has been preparing us for.
Like you would expect, once "K" moved in reality hit. Unlike what you'd expect, it has been natural and seamless. She fits beautifully into our house and our family, bringing new life where I never even realized it has been missing. It's like she was always meant to be with us.
I thought my heart was full. Since that phone call, it has swelled. It feels like it is simultaneously bursting and breaking. Overflowing with love for this new daughter I never knew I needed. Breaking at the thought of the time together we haven't had but grateful for the future that is in front of us. Bursting with laughter while wrestling with an aspect of fatherhood I didn't expect to experience. Delighting in the joy of emotions that keep surfacing unexpectedly. On one hand, suddenly having a 17 year old daughter is like learning to swim by jumping into the deep end of the ocean. On the other, when God makes these connections happen it all just works.
All I can say is welcome to the family, sweetie. We don't really live inside much of a comfort zone and I hope you're okay with that. We're a bit crazy here. This is the kind of crazy that draws us nearer to God. It's good to be this kind of crazy.
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