Never Surrender

"We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end...we shall never surrender." - Winston Churchill

Many amazing and inspiring people have come in and out of my life. So many incredible men of God have crossed my path in the past few years. It's humbling and incredible. They have played the role of mentor, teacher, counselor, student, or brother.

One of the callings that God has somehow put into me is a passion to reach and minister to people with addictions. As a result, I have become close friends with a few former meth addicts. I hate meth. Meth sucks. It destroys lives. The side effects I've seen in people are permanent and undermine every positive part of life.

Russ (not his real name) was a brother to me. For many, many months, he was always the one that was there when I needed support. When I was struggling and feeling alone, he spoke truth into my life. I'd like to hope I did the same for him. He introduced me and prayed for me when I gave my testimony to recovering addicts. I did the same for him. But then the past crept back in. He grew distant. Gradually, one small step at a time, he slipped away. Consumed by his past. I don't know where he is now. This incredible, transformed man of God that meant so much to me is now gone. Probably forever. The damage from the past was too big of a burden, but he insisted on carrying it alone.

Over the past 6 months I've seen the same start to happen in another brother of mine. This is a man that I would look to for proof of God's life-transforming power. There were many times I doubted the transformation that had happened in me. I thought it would be temporary or that somehow it was fake. When I saw this guy's walk with Christ and heard his testimony, I knew that everything was real. I was close enough to know he wasn't faking. But now, years later, he's bogged down. To say he is backsliding would be an understatement.

I have silently watched him slip away as I have been praying for a phone call from him. Begging for him to reach out to me. Praying for a cry for help. Instead I've only seen taillights in the distance. Now he's almost gone.

So now it's time to pursue. Because that's what love does. Love acts. Love fights. Love rescues. Love never surrenders. I know God hasn't given up. I won't give up either.

Philippians 1:21

Why am I a Christian?

I haven't always been. Most of my life has been spent in defiant opposition to religion in general. Christianity was the worst of them all, though. The closed minded--even empty minded--lives of the religious people I knew was a source of constant frustration for me.

One day I started going to church and the strangest thing happened. Yeah, that sounds like an abrupt about-face but the details are a story for another day. They aren't so important to today's tale.

When I went I found exactly what I expected. The average Christian still couldn't answer the tough questions I had. They also still sang slow and boring songs. They were nice enough, though. I kept an open mind. Not so much because of them, but because I was still seeking truth and I decided not to let these imperfect people stand between me and it. I decided I would give God a fair shot and not judge Him solely on the actions of His followers. I went back.

Mysteries Unfolding

What I found out ended up changing the trajectory of my life. God is real. The miracles I had been demanding from Him my whole life had been there all along. It was like a veil was lifted from my eyes and I could see how active God's hand had been my entire life, even when I was fighting against Him. He had been pursuing me. Not to condemn me, but to love me. I had been blinded by my own arrogance and stubbornness.

I discovered that the creator of the universe cared about me with a deep and personal love. He wanted me to be with Him. He wanted me to have a relationship with him. Even though I had been rebellious...even though I had actively tried to drive a wedge between Him and His followers. Even though I had done nothing to deserve it.

He showed me that He loved me so much He sent His only son to rescue me. God knew the cost would be His perfect and beloved son's life. God knew I wouldn't appreciate it. He knew I would treat His love with contempt. He knew I would return love with anger and hate. He sent Jesus anyway. That is an overwhelming, unconditional, and incomprehensible love! Why would He do that? It doesn't make sense.

That unraveled one of my last assumptions. I knew that kind of love wasn't something I was capable of. It wasn't something that was inside anyone I had ever met. In order to be "God," God couldn't think like me...like any of us. His ways would have to be different than ours. Higher in some way. He would have a lot more information at His disposal. A lot more experience, too. His perspective would be entirely different than ours. It would have to be. I don't know how I missed that all those years.

From Head to Heart

Once my mind was opened to the possibility--no, the reality--of God, my heart soon followed. I spent a lot of time wrestling with theology, trying to understand all the implications of what Christians believe. Along the way, the miracles started happening. They still haven't stopped. I had spent my entire life seeking truth, demanding evidence on my own terms. Once I gave up demanding and began seeking to just experience a relationship with God, the world opened up.

Satisfied?

To answer the last question that remains...why Christianity? Believing in a higher power is one thing, but why the whole Jesus thing? My first answer is that it was through Jesus and Christianity that I experienced everything I've described above, everything I've written in this blog, and more than can possibly be imagined. I know Christianity is true because I have lived it. It holds up.

In case that's not enough...I've studied the other major religions. I have lived a sensible, stable, productive non-religious life. It seems religion is man's way of trying to find his way to God. Religions define sets of rules and rituals that must be obeyed in order to please a distant God. Jesus, however, is God reaching toward us. Unlike Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Mormonism, Scientology, and even Judaism, in Christianity it is God that has done the work. Jesus accepts and welcomes everyone, no matter how broken or disobedient they are. God has given us the freedom to choose Him.

Bishop William Temple said that the only thing we contribute to our salvation is the sin that makes salvation necessary. It's scandalous. Offensive. Unique. But true.

Miracle Mondays

I believe that going to heaven for eternity is an incredible benefit of Christianity. That's not the only one, though. In John 10:10, Jesus tells us that He came to give us life, and life in abundance  I believe that if we are in Christ, our life does not look the same anymore. The here-and-now is transformed.

The reason I believe this is not because a smiling preacher told me so. It's not even because the Bible says so. The reason I believe this is because I have experienced it. It happened in my own life and in the lives of others I've known.

In my experience, it seems like a lot of us Christians miss this. We focus so much on the hereafter, we forget about what's in front of us right now.

Joy. Peace. Life. Miracles.

I have had seasons of my life when I have seen miracle upon miracle, practically living in a state of overflowing awe at the presence and action of God. Mere months later I find myself wondering if any of it was real.

Enter Miracle Mondays. I'm dedicating Monday posts here to telling about a miracle that I have experienced or witnessed. These are times that I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I have seen God in action in this world. Many of these stories have happy endings, but some are heartbreaking. Some are silly. Some are tragic. All are real.

How about you, do you believe in miracles?

Personal Recipe

Trust 30 : Day 27 (Prompt by Harley Schreiber)

I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think about the type of person you’d NEVER want to be 5 years from now. Write out your own personal recipe to prevent this from happening and commit to following it. “Thought is the seed of action.”

I don't want to be one of the living dead. It seems so many people seek to tune out life. Whether it's television, internet, drugs, the bar scene, or anything else, people seem to be constantly striving to escape. To be honest, I feel that same call. I've given in to it before. On one hand life seems so much simpler if the primary purpose of it is to stay gratified. You put in your time at work, grab some fast food on the way home, and then veg all night. Next day is the same as the last. Repeat as necessary. Retire. Die, having never lived. Frankly, that's the path of least resistance. Living like this doesn't anger anyone, but there is no positive purpose in it either.

Here's a quick recipe:

1. Openly and passionately pursue truth. Don't stop when it gets comfortable, keep pushing until your dying breath.
2. Reach out to others. Staying engaged with other helps maintain perspective and keep you honest. 
3. Always keep learning.
4. Never be afraid to help someone else out.
5. Choose to love.