Side Effects

I woke up this morning at 5AM. It was raining. For some reason I was shocked to learn that it was still pitch black outside that early.

Start!

Let me step back a minute... I've been a fan of Jon Acuff for a few years now. As part of the release for his new book, Start, he has kicked off a "Start Experiment." He is assembling a community of people that are passionate about their dreams but have maybe put their dreams aside. The book is all about hustle, ignoring fears, and taking bold steps toward your dream. So today, on day one, I got up at 5. In the morning.

My "project" is something very dear to me. It's so close to my heart that I haven't talked to many people about it. It might even sound crazy. Wait a second, did that sound a little like fear creeping in?

I've seen God do incredible things in the last five years. There was an incredible patch in late 2011 when I went on my first mission trip (Brazil). Shortly after was a volunteer chaplain at the state fair, ministering and loving the carnies. During that time I was developing Sunday School curriculum. I was also leading worship and small groups in a recovery ministry. A few other things too. God was so real then. I could sense Him with every breath I took. Every time I heard God ask me to move, I would move. Then I stopped.

God gave me a book. Well, first He gave me a Sunday School series, like He always does. But once it was over, it was pretty clear that it was supposed to turn into a book. The three week series was to grow into a three part book. There was an outline. A title. A bow on top. But I resisted.

My life has still been incredible. I still see God at work in me, through me, and around me. But it isn't quite the same. I'm not breathing in grace and breathing out praise. I'm not saying "Yes, Lord" to EVERYTHING anymore. I haven't started that book. Until now.

Today was day one of the Start Experiment. I got up at 5AM. I couldn't watch the lovely birds outside my window while I was working because it was still dark. And raining. But I could write. And I did. And it was good. It was freeing.

After that, I tackled the rest of my day. When my wife stumbled out of bed, full of sleepy eyes and bed-head hair, she looked radiant to me. As the kids gave me good-bye hugs it felt like I was on "Leave it to Beaver." I'm living a blessed life. I made it to work slightly later than usual, but managed to get the best parking spot ever. Once inside, the little things that typically to bug me about my job seemed almost delightful. Entertaining, maybe. Either way, they couldn't penetrate this bubble I was in. I took a long walk with a good friend at lunch. The weather was unseasonably perfect. All day long I was simply delighting in life. It was like God was shouting to me, "Trust me! I know what's best, and I'll take care of you. Trust me."

I thought that I was just getting up at 5. Apparently this is what it feels like to step back squarely into God's will. I'd call day one a productive one.