Preparing To Live vs. Coming Alive

Trust 30 Writing Challenge : Day 6

Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.

Bonus: How can your goals improve the present and not keep you in a perpetual “always something better” spiral?

This may sound crazy but I've been through this exercise a few times.  I've applied it to my life.  I can't claim to have applied it perfectly, but a big part of my life is choosing to live deliberately.  That's why the kids don't play soccer.  That's why we don't have a million TV channels.  That's why, as a family, we chose to build relationships instead of seeking escapes from life.

The first time the writing bug hit me hard was right after my first son was born.  A big part of this was realizing that the hectic pace of life that I was already on was not the kind of life I wanted to live and wasn't what I wanted for my kids.  I looked at those around me that were on the same path and I realized I longed for something different.  "More stuff" wasn't the answer.  A bigger house or bigger paycheck wasn't going to bring happiness and the pursuit was killing me.  I was working for a hot company in a hot industry...the sky was the limit.  And I walked away.  Not in the sensible "I got a better job so I'm outta here" kind of way.  I simply walked away.  Sold the house and moved 250 miles north (back home).  Worked a few odd jobs and did a lot of manual labor while pretending to work on a novel.  Discovered I didn't have the self discipline to write professionally.

Returning to the workforce had its challenges, but it was done deliberately as well (if not quickly).  With the work I've done since then, I've been able to find a purpose to what I do.  I've been challenged and I've been able to develop some incredible relationships with people.  But even now, with my "dream job" in hand, I realize that this is part of a process.  I'm not working so that I can have more stuff, a shinier car, or a bigger house.  This job does not define me...it is a means, but that doesn't mean it's unnecessary.  For me to thrive at it I still need it to be full of significance, but I recognize now that what I do from 8 to 5 (or since I'm an IT Security guy it could actually include more than that) is possibly the least important part of my life.

So, if I had one week to live what would I stop doing?  Well, I wouldn't go to work...not because I dislike my job.  I've just got some vacation time coming and would spend my last week with friends and family as much as possible.  I'd actually volunteer some...the brief times I've spent with the homeless and hungry has been life altering and significant.  Yes, there are a few relationships that I'd try to improve/reconcile by openly sharing my heart.  I'd spend a lot of time strumming and singing, those times have always been so special.  I'd continue to pursue God until my dying breath.

And I'd write.  I have a couple of writing projects bouncing around in my head that I would like to leave to my kids.  I don't write to become rich or famous, I write because I must write.  I feel like my writing is raw and that I need a lot more practice.  I wouldn't get that in a week.  But to take this #Trust30 exercise and continue it will help me grow.  Pray that I get these projects out before my last seven days.

The truth is, and maybe it's the point of this exercise, but most of us never know when our last 7 will be.  It is likely that there are people out there tonight diligently working on their day 6 writing project that will not see day 7.  Life is all too brief to spend much time preparing to live.  Don't waste your life.  Just live.   And live deliberately.

Post it note (Revisited)

Trust30 Challenge - Revisiting Day Three

That which each can do best, none but his Maker can teach him. Where is the master who could have taught Shakespeare? Where is the master who could have instructed Franklin, or Washington, or Bacon, or Newton? . . . Shakespeare will never be made by the study of Shakespeare. Do that which is assigned you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Identify one of your biggest challenges at the moment (ie I don’t feel passionate about my work) and turn it into a question (ie How can I do work I’m passionate about?) Write it on a post-it and put it up on your bathroom mirror or the back of your front door. After 48-hours, journal what answers came up for you and be sure to evaluate them.

My Post-It Note question was "How can I stay both Passionate and Patient?" It's been 48 hours so it's time to revisit...

Although "quite reserved" on the outside at first glance, my life is driven by my passions.  If I'm not passionate about something I don't tend to pursue it.  This doesn't mean I just blindly follow my emotions or simply seek pleasure in everything I do.  For me passion can be a long-term thing...in fact if passion is directed at the appropriate things the long term benefits can be mind-blowing.  I've experienced this in my career, my wife, my kids, and now my God.  I have to mention that when I passionately pursue myself (if that makes sense) then life falls apart.

My life these days is shaped by these passionate pursuits.  After spending my life as a adamant and deliberate atheist who would only change his mind if shown verifiable proof of God's existence, I must admit that I have now seen proof that has eliminated all doubts.  But the ironic thing is that first I believed, then I saw.  And no, I wasn't brainwashed.  But that pursuit of God has been very passionate and fulfilling.  The fire burns hot, and it hasn't burned out.

The latest quest I've been on is to build a community of passionate believers.  It sounds like a simple task living in the middle of the Bible belt.  What I find repeatedly is that authentic community requires authentic people.  This authenticity only comes with openness and trust which are things our culture seems to avoid.  Many times it seems as though "Christians" I encounter have a "church mask" they wear when around me but they don't have that passion that I need to see reflected in the people around me. Church is somewhere they go out of habit.  I so desperately want to see what happens when we get 8 to 10 people together that think about God more than they think about TV.  How powerful would that be, how much could we change the world for the better? That's where I need patience.

The answer for me, like it often is, is perspective.  My wife and I started dating over 20 years ago.  To look back at how far we've come and what we've lived through is amazing.  And it's not like looking at accomplishment like at an award ceremony...it goes much deeper than that.  There is art in the process.  Through the joy and the pain, underlying all of it, there is a larger picture being painted that goes beyond beauty.  But the journey is as important as the destination.  In fact, the journey never ends -- it's vital that we see it and appreciate it.  Instead of looking forward to "someday" --  appreciate today. When it comes to the things I'm passionate about now, it's vital that I remember to lose myself in the journey, appreciating it every step of the way.  I trust God.  It takes time for lives to be shaped, my own as well as those around me.  The process to this point has been a work of art, a beautiful tapestry that I could not have designed or predicted.

When I trust Him, He will weave my life into something beyond my wildest expectations.  That's what I need to put on my new post-it note.  That's what I need to see every day.

Travel (and Trust)

Today's writing prompt from: http://ralphwaldoemerson.me/chris-guillebeau

If we live truly, we shall see truly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Not everyone wants to travel the world, but most people can identify at least one place in the world they’d like to visit before they die. Where is that place for you, and what will you do to make sure you get there?

My parents did a pretty good job of showing me the country.  I have fond memories of Washington D.C., St. Louis, Florida (NASA and Disney), Missouri, and all over Colorado.  As much as I love living in the heat and topologically challenged area of middle America that I'm in, I love to see everything else too.  About 7 years ago I made a list of places I wanted to see...it included Antarctica, China, Machu Picchu, Alaska (puddle jumping with a bush pilot), and a number of other adventurous destinations.  The original list is lost to time, but the undying call of "all there is" remains.

The simple fact is that there is a lot of the world left for me to see.  These days it feels like this longing is simply an echo of the deeper spiritual quest that I am on...a quest to learn more about our Creator by experiencing His creation.  I've taken two cruises, one to Alaska and one in the Gulf of Mexico.  These two could not have been more drastically different, but during both I saw the fingerprints of God everywhere.  I saw it again on my trip last summer to Colorado.  God is present everywhere in the mountains.  In fact, all He has created is so incredible it is tempting to fall in love with the creation rather then the creator.  Ah, the thrill and challenge of being human.

I believe that when we stay in the same place all the time, we tend to lose sight of those fingerprints. Humans really aren't that different from sharks, we have to keep moving forward in order to stay alive.  We just don't always realize it.  This reminds me of HDT encouraging us to "live deliberately" or Braveheart saying "Every man dies.  Not every man truly lives."  That's the challenge of life...to cast off the comforts of complacency and choose to live, to act, to move.

I've always been one to stare into the stars longingly.  I love to see things that are majestic...I long for the Grand Tetons, the Black Hills, Cape Cod, the White Cliffs of Dover, waterfalls in South America, Victoria Falls in Africa, the Great Pyramids, the Taj Mahal, the Louvre...the list is endless.

What do I do to get me there?  There are a lot of little things and a few big things.  At this time in my life we're getting out of debt as quickly as we can and working to live a simpler life.  The long term effect of this will be to allow us freedom and flexibility "some day" when it's time for us to do some big traveling.  Until then, we enjoy taking the kiddos on smaller trips...Missouri, Colorado, Texas, and Florida.  While doing all that, I continue to trust God in everything.  I trust that He will lead us where He wants us to be.  And, against all odds (but His), my wife and I are going to Brazil this July. We'll be seeing different stars then we ever have before (the stars are different in the Southern Hemisphere), experiencing new things together, making new friends, impacting the world in His name, and reuniting with a dear friend (pictured).  This trip to Brazil sums up my spiritual walk for the past 4 years...trust Him and He'll blow you away.