Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions, and do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Who is one person that you’ve been dying to connect with, but just haven’t had the courage to reach out to? First, reflect on why you want to get in touch with them. Then, reach out and set up a meeting.Many parts of life are composed of the competing forces of wants and needs. Often our wants overshadow our needs, stealing our focus and taking our eyes of what it truly important.
When it comes to connecting with others, I tend to allow this to happen. Through the wonders of technology I feel connected to and influenced by many people who have no idea who I am (and probably never will). I think about how great it would be to be in a small group with Andy Stanley. To have Matt Chandler or Francis Chan as a spiritual mentor. To jam with David Crowder. With each of these people (and so many more) it doesn't matter if I reach out to them, they aren't in my circle of interaction and I'm not in theirs. These connections are wants, not needs.
No, the truly courageous connections fall into the category of needs. The wants are safe. Since the likelihood of coming to fruition is so small, they can safely be dreamed about endlessly with little to no risk. But when it comes to connecting with people that are in my circle of interaction, well...that gets a little scary. The consequences are real. The possibility of rejection is real. Since success is an option, failure is also an option. And that fear of failure can be paralyzing.
So who do I want to connect with? I'd love for my dad to know how much he is loved and appreciated. I'd love to have a running dialog on things like perspectives on fatherhood and marriage. The meaning of life, metaphysics, achievement, and significance. You know, letting conversations unfold without necessarily worrying about who is right and who is wrong. But I think we both shy away because we think we won't agree on anything. We both really like to be right. Plus, it's hard to know where to start for both of us.
My mom. I'd love to connect with her in a new way. A way that is free of the pressures of performance. A way that encourages stillness and a genuine connection. Let's talk about love, relationships, spirituality. The legacies that were handed to us and the legacy we leave others. Let's reminisce about old times and look forward to future memories with eager anticipation.
And my dear sister. On the surface it appears we are likely to agree on very little. But deep down we have so much in common...we grew up in the same house, same parents, same relatives. From the same blood. Beneath the layers we've built up around us, at the core we're got to be so alike. It can be hard to let down the walls and let a true connection happen. And like any relationship, it can't happen until both are ready and willing.
So, when do I set the appointment? And how?
