Broken reflections

I casually prodded the almost runny scrambled eggs with an old twisted fork, staring into the yellow goo for answers that just wouldn't come. The man sitting across from me told stories of his fractured life. Things aren't good.

He said this. She said that. There were actions that led to accusations that led to arguments that led to war. It is too familiar of a tale. It could be my story. It could be yours. This time, though, it's his. Words that were unthinkable just a few years ago are now the most common. Words like "hate" and "divorce."

As I gazed over my soggy, room-temperature hash browns into those eyes that were so desperately seeking answers, I was surprised by what I saw. Myself. My road has had different twists and turns, but has been a story filled with brokenness followed by redemption.

So I give my friend the answer. It may not be the answer he wants. It is the answer that has never failed me, though. Jesus. Only Jesus.

"I know you want the relationships that meant so much to you to be restored. I understand that you want to be seen as a man an not a monster. The only path out is Jesus. Only Jesus.

Focus on Him. Yield your life to Him. Learn to delight in His word and His presence again, just like in the old days. Remember how when Jesus was all you needed, life made sense? You were blessed beyond expectation. Everything on this world that means anything to you is a byproduct of that close relationship with Jesus. Have you ever been more fully a man than when you were close to him? Did those that knew you best ever call you a monster when your relationship with Christ was at its strongest?

I can't guarantee a happy ending. But if Jesus is the true desire of your heart, you will never be let down.

I know this not because it's the Christian thing to say. I say it because when I look into your soul, I see a reflection of myself. I see my own brokenness and I know we aren't that different. And I know that I need Jesus every second of every day. Life means nothing without Him. Yes, He is our savior, but He is also our sustainer. I tell you to lean on Him because I tell myself that every day."

I don't know how this story ends. I have a prayer. I have a hope. Because of Jesus, my friend does too.

No one is ever beyond redemption. No one is ever beyond hope. No one is ever beyond the reach of Jesus.

Broken Reflections

Broken Reflections

Life can be hard. Things can get messy. It's nearly impossible to live in a relation-vacuum, completely isolated from the brokeness and faults of others.

As I met with and talked to a brother in Christ this weekend, I was reminded of just how insane this world can be. It is so easy to sit in judgement of others. So often we are certain of what is wrong with someone else--what changes they need to make in their lives. But how often do people need a know-it-all in their lives? How often to they need a compassionate ear to listen too?

Listening to the pain in his voice, I wasn't filled with answers. I was filled with compassion. With understanding. Do I approve of all the choices he has made in recent months? No, of course not. But do I approve of all the choices I have made in recent months? No, I don't.

I'm a believer in outrageous, scandelous grace. It is one thing to post that in a profile, share it on social media, or write a blog post about it. It's another to live it out. It isn't possible to do on your own strength. The example we look to for grace is in the life and work of Jesus Christ.

Jesus changed my life. I am not the same man I was just a few years ago. What changed my life was an understanding that Jesus loved me enough to give His life for me while I was still at rock bottom. I didn't clean myself up and then come to Christ. He came to me in the middle of my mess. He wasn't turned away by the hate, filth, and total selfishness that was my life. He saw through all that. He saw my heart as it was designed by God. He saw all I could be, and He believed in me long before I ever believed in Him.

Like my friend, I am broken. We have this in common. We are imperfect people trying to make sense of this world we live in. The answer is Jesus. The answer is always Jesus. The more we talked, the more clear this was. I know where my friend has been. I know how close he has been to Jesus, and I know how distant he has been too. My consistent advice was seek Jesus. Don't try and control your other relationships. Put Jesus first. Focus on that, above all else. He is there. Turn to Him. See how everything else changes.

As we draw nearer to Jesus, the other relationships we have in life may fall away. Some relationships may not be restored on this side of eternity. At some point, we have to accept that this is okay. However, we may also find that in letting go of our need to cling to these broken relationships Jesus is able to work in them in ways that are beyond our comprehension. I am amazed at how many friendships and marriages I've seen healed and restored after all sides gave up and just sincerely sought Jesus, letting Him work in their lives.

Here is something that I know to be true. Any offense others have done to us pales in comparison to how badly we have failed to meet God's standard. Yet He chose forgiveness. He chose torture and death in order to save us. He can reconcile our relationship with Himself. Through grace. Outrageous grace. Scandelous grace.

For six months my brother has been hearing about all the ways he has been messing up. He has been defined and labeld by others. He has received both judgements and consequences for both his thoughts and his actions. The one thing he hasn't been hearing is that God still loves him. He hasn't been hearing that anyone at all loves him.

My role in the converstation was to speak truth into his life. The truth that he is loved. The truth that he is forgiven, even now in the midst of the darkest night of his life. To speak reminders of where we've been, of all the incredible things that Jesus has done in our lives. To remind us of how real those times were. Miracle after miracle that we've seen together. The light in the darkness. The hope to the hopeless. The glorious savior, not just reaching out to us but actively pursuing us.

I spoke to my brother not as a perfect person with everything figured out. I spoke to him as a fellow prisoner, ensnared in my own chains of sin. I may be more comfortable with mine than I am with his, but we are both in chains. I'm just one prisoner helping another to remember what it looks like to have the sun shine on his face. In the son, we have the strength and hope to continue in the fight. Darkness will not prevail.

Never Surrender

"We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end...we shall never surrender." - Winston Churchill

Many amazing and inspiring people have come in and out of my life. So many incredible men of God have crossed my path in the past few years. It's humbling and incredible. They have played the role of mentor, teacher, counselor, student, or brother.

One of the callings that God has somehow put into me is a passion to reach and minister to people with addictions. As a result, I have become close friends with a few former meth addicts. I hate meth. Meth sucks. It destroys lives. The side effects I've seen in people are permanent and undermine every positive part of life.

Russ (not his real name) was a brother to me. For many, many months, he was always the one that was there when I needed support. When I was struggling and feeling alone, he spoke truth into my life. I'd like to hope I did the same for him. He introduced me and prayed for me when I gave my testimony to recovering addicts. I did the same for him. But then the past crept back in. He grew distant. Gradually, one small step at a time, he slipped away. Consumed by his past. I don't know where he is now. This incredible, transformed man of God that meant so much to me is now gone. Probably forever. The damage from the past was too big of a burden, but he insisted on carrying it alone.

Over the past 6 months I've seen the same start to happen in another brother of mine. This is a man that I would look to for proof of God's life-transforming power. There were many times I doubted the transformation that had happened in me. I thought it would be temporary or that somehow it was fake. When I saw this guy's walk with Christ and heard his testimony, I knew that everything was real. I was close enough to know he wasn't faking. But now, years later, he's bogged down. To say he is backsliding would be an understatement.

I have silently watched him slip away as I have been praying for a phone call from him. Begging for him to reach out to me. Praying for a cry for help. Instead I've only seen taillights in the distance. Now he's almost gone.

So now it's time to pursue. Because that's what love does. Love acts. Love fights. Love rescues. Love never surrenders. I know God hasn't given up. I won't give up either.

Philippians 1:21