Welcome to 2013. Everywhere I turn I see signs of resolutions. New year, new life, new you. I hate to jump on the resolution bandwagon, but up I go again.
My life has changed so much in the past 10 years that it's hard for me to ask for more. The distance from where I was to where I am could only be traversed miraculously. But I'm human, never satisfied. Always wanting more. Like just about everyone I know, my goals revolve around health and fitness. As I approach the year, I have been challenged regarding my true motivation for this change.
The church answer for this would have to be something like "I want to be in better shape so I can better serve the Lord." Or maybe "my body is a Holy temple, I need to treat it as such." How about "I want my outside appearance to reflect the state of my soul." Yeah, I'm familiar with the church answer. If you know me very well, you know how suspicious I am of church answers.
Each of those have some truth to it, but I need to be honest and dig deeper. I have had a life long battle with clinical depression. This is a battle that has been won. But somehow, my eating choices feel like I'm killing myself slowly. Because of that, deep down I feel like this life and death war isn't quite as over as I thought. The monster is still lurking under the surface. It can't kill me quickly, but it's patient and is willing to go for the long slow method.
This fight is my motivation. With help, I've managed to defeat this beast at every battle. I'm going to win this one too.
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