I spent most of my life teetering between atheist and agnostic. As such, I always felt like I had an outsiders, "objective" view of Christians. I was thinking about this last night and thought I'd share the perceptions that I had.
For starters, Christians spend a lot of time disapproving of others. There are a lot of types of sin in the world, and Christians look down on all of it! Whether it is someone that drinks, is gay, or swears, they are all looked down upon and shunned!
Christians also spend a lot of time with each other (probably talking about all those sinners). They tend to cluster, and then the don't let others into their circles. They are pretty closed off.
They are close minded. In fact, it was relatively easy for me to get someone to question their beliefs, I just had to get them to open their mind a little bit and once their mind was open to a little bit of doubt, all the pretend conviction that they had would leak out. This happened enough that I stopped discussing religion with people, I was tired of the tears and broken lives.
Christians are all about guilt and "don'ts". Don't dance, don't drink, don't swear, don't mess around outside of marriage, don't do anything fun. If you happen to do any of that stuff, you'd better feel guilty. Also, if you know of anyone else that does any of that stuff, make them feel guilty too!
Christians use a lot of the same jargon and rarely listen. If I don't feel like I need saving, I don't care that Jesus can save me. I don't care what Jesus would do. If I'm enjoying (or just think I'm enjoying) my sinful lifestyle, I sure won't turn from it because you say so. Giving up the things that give my life meaning (or pleasure, or at least temporarily fill a void), going to bed early on Saturday night so I can sleep in a sanctuary in front of some lame preacher who just wants my money? Why would I do that?
Of course, this is all in the past for me, but it is very real in the present for many, many non-believers. These are stereotypes based on interactions I had with very young Christians before I was aware of God's power and grace. What I find scary is that I still find myself surrounded by people that fit this stereotype. I believe that in order to be an effective Christian, to glorify Him and spread the Word, we need to be aware of these perceptions and do whatever we can to fight them. I don't mean fight them by arguing with people, but fight them by contradicting the stereotypes! Don't use empty phrases, embrace sinners (but not the sin), be a good listener first and not a dogmatic preacher. Be open to outsiders, make them feel welcome and special. Gently guide them into God's arms, don't hit them over the head with a Bible.
2 comments:
Great post David.
I sometimes worry about doing a "I used to be.." type post as people can read it as "and so every [insert what you used to be] is just like that or thinks like I did." Which people like that then usually vermently deny.
I was surprised by your comment about "open their mind to the smallest element of doubt." but perhaps I shouldn't. Especially during teenage years many people work out what they believe and brokeness can come with that too. I think it adds real honesty to your story though and hopefully people will listen more to it.
Thanks once again.
Thanks, Chris.
While it was relatively easy to talk a few Christians out of their faith, I believe most returned to their roots stronger eventually.
I understand what you're saying about the "used to be" posts. That's one reason why I don't tend to get into intellectual debates about this stuff. I see both "sides" using straw man arguments way too often for my comfort. Post like this one are intended to provide perspective...not all atheists fit the stereotype that are commonly assumed, nor do Christians. We're all just people with similar struggles, joys, pain, and triumphs.
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