Alternative Paths

Trust 30 Day 14

"When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name; the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“What alternative opportunities, interpretations and paths am I not seeing?”

The things we have--cars, stereos, paychecks, job titles--ultimately don't matter. Even things that sound more noble, like publishing a book or earning a degree are ultimately worthless. They will all fade away. It seems most goals and visions we have in life not only revolve around these things that will fade, but we sacrifice the things that truly matter in order to acheive them. We relegate things like quality time with our kids, our marriage, and even our sprituality to "someday." Once we acheive "enough" we'll get back to that stuff. After all, the people that love us the most always be there, right?

But life isn't like that. It moves on. Focus on the wrong thing and the right things slip away. Kids grow up with or without a parent's help. Even the most patient spouses will not tolerate an absent mate forever. Distance can grow in any relationship--parents/kids, husband/wife, friends, and you/God.

Emerson says "...when you have life in yourself..." I have life in myself when I feel close to my kids. When they seek me out to show me something they've created (usually with duct tape) or a brain teaser they invented. I find life in myself when they find joy in life and eagerly share it with me. These things can be a distraction to the focus I have toward "my" goals. But "my" goals are meaningless without these things. I refuse to sacrifice my children or marriage on the altar of personal acheivement. Allowing myself to consistently be distracted by those I love has tangibly altered my vision for the future. I feel I'm not driven by blind ambition, I am willing to follow love and let the vision that we share unfold in front of us as we experience life together.

Surprise!

Trust30 : Day 13

I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think of a time when you didn’t think you were capable of doing something, but then surprised yourself.  How will you surprise yourself this week?

So much about my transformation has been surprising. Astounding, even. Actually, it's been beyond belief. An outright miracle. For example, in a few short years I've gone from being a life-long, die-hard atheist to being a Sunday School teacher developing my own curriculum...specializing in life change, authenticity, and reaching those that are hurting. And I know it's just the beginning.

Another example...I didn't think I could ever sing and play guitar. My entire life I rarely sang in private, much less in public. Yet when the time came, I stepped into the role of band leader. Not only did I sing and play a couple of times a week for a year, but arranged the set lists and coached the other band members along. It was unbelievable. And surprising. 

The common denominator in every surprise has been a strong trust in God. When I've tried to force things along they just don't work out. When I trust Him amazing things happen. This week I will surprise myself. He will surprise me. I will find a way to lean more fully into God for the things that are unresolved in my life. I will trust Him to give me the courage and the words to do what is right as well as what is necessary. He will use my willingness to make a difference this week. 

Insist

Trust 30 Challenge, Day 11

Imitation is Suicide. Insist on yourself; never imitate. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Write down in which areas of your life you have to overcome these suicidal tendencies of imitation, and how you can transform them into a newborn you – one that doesn’t hide its uniqueness, but thrives on it. There is a “divine idea which each of us represents” – which is yours?

At this point in my life I don't think I need to transform into a newborn me. I have already been transformed. The rest of my life will be a process of embracing this transformation. 

My kids switched schools two years ago. Since that move I have seen an astounding change in them. What's wild is that they haven't changed into someone different than who they already were. They have become more fully themselves. This is an ongoing process in me, too.

I believe my "uniqueness" is to live out my faith in Christ in a way that bucks tradition. One example is that I choose to love, not to judge. Here's a thought...you may remember that in Genesis God created the rainbow as a symbol of His covenant with Noah after the flood. Every time we see a rainbow we are to remember that He loves us and, no matter how bad things look, He isn't going to wipe out the human race. Now look at a Pride parade. Rainbows everywhere. Is our response, as Christians, to be angry that they hijacked this symbol? Or is it for us to look at them and realize that God loves each and every one of them as much as He loves us? Maybe they didn't hijack the symbol at all, maybe He filled that movement with rainbows for a reason. Hmmmmm. 

I'm not saying that choosing to love is easy (or that I'm an expert). And loving is different than endorsing. I have a lot of Christian friends that are making poor, non-Biblical decisions in their lives. Honestly, so am I. Debt, gluttony, porn addiction, love of money...the potential list goes on and on. And yet these are typically overlooked and even joked about while welcoming each other to church. We love each other through it, accepting without condemnation but also without necessarily condoning. With those we're closest to we may feel comfortable with a confrontation, but those are pretty rare.  I'm saying let's take it a step further and love those that we are supposed to be against. In fact, I insist on it.

Afraid

Trust 30 - Day 9

The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Emerson says: “Always do what you are afraid to do.” What is ‘too scary’ to write about? Try doing it now.

I don't think there's anything that's too scary for me to write about. It's hitting "publish" that's tough. And what's harder still is taking the action in the "real world." So instead of focusing on "what's too scary to write about" I'm going to venture toward "what am I afraid to do?"

I hate conflict. I think the world would be a better place if we all could let go of ourselves a little bit and learn to listen to each other. I believe that if genuinely try to understand each other, most conflict can be resolved. When we see others as individuals instead of as resources, relationships can be built. Community follows from these relationships. And authentic communities can change the world.

Unfortunately, I'm into conflict avoidance instead of conflict resolution. Conflict resolution brings the conflict into the light, exposing it with love, truth, and patience. As much as I want to have happy, healthy relationships, I also don't want to jeopardize a single one. So I'm scared. I avoid anything that could potentially damage a relationship. I'd rather knowingly swallow poison myself than take risk the loss of a relationship with someone I love.

But this can't go on indefinitely.That's what I'm realizing and trying to work through. Pretending the conflict and hurt isn't there is lying. And lying always damages relationships no matter what the intentions behind the lie are. But I'm afraid to make the first move.